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Visitor Rememberances
Email your rememberance to desertsong@livingroom-memories.com
Dear John,
I stopped by to listen to your songs today and remember all the good things that you taught me. Your love of nature is reflected in the many pictures that you took. I was able to see what you saw through them. I always enjoyed talking to you because our conversations were deep and meaningful. And throughout it all you found a song in every single thing. Music was your passion and the fuel that drove you to create your songs. Your legacy to the world is your music.For that I am thankful. You were always searching to understand the meaning of everything in life especially love. In our journey our souls touched and you left me with the love and encouragement to believe in myself. I always knew I could count on your if I ever needed anything. Thank you for sharing yourself with me and everyone you met. Although you are gone from this world you will always live in my heart.Love,glo |
John Beedle - "Desertsong"
Midnightsun Loon is a singer/songwriter, known as John Beedle in the real world and as "Desertsong" on Paltalk. Midnightsun's work has been heard on the radio in Alaska and he is excited to bring his work to the internet where he will be heard by people from all over the world.
eaglemom: Music has always been a big part of Midnightsun's life and he spends as much time as possible writing songs and recording them. He finds the process of songwriting to be an exciting one where the words and music sometimes just flow and other times just never get finished.
eaglemom: He whole heartedly agrees with other songwriters who say, " I am just the messenger of the music and the music speaks for itself".
Inspired and touched by John Denver's music, Midnightsun hopes that, if his music can touch you, you will have gotten the message and he will have succeeded in his goal.
I am sorry it has taken me 2 months to be able to look at this memorial to John, or hear his beautiful voice until today June 15/08.
I am sitting here listening to his beautiful voice, listening to the song we wrote together "Cowboy Dream" and all of the other songs that I was so priviledged to hear from their birth. The tears are flowing down my face as I am seeing and hearing the full impact of my total grief and devastation at the loss of my darling husband of 29 years.
Everything his Paltak and other internet friends thought about John's spirit , his kindness, his love of music and life was true. He was and will always be my one true love and although when he got sick the past few years we had some difficulties, I was his one true love also. We used to go round and round about who wanted to die first, and neither one of us wanted to be leftt to grieve for the other one. He promised me that we would just have to die at the same time by some fluke accident ( like flying to Maui every year for 15 years ) so that we could go together. I lost.
My heart is so broken I just don't know how to go on without him, and I anxiously wait for the day that I am able to join him again. The wonderful people who we lived with in Nenana Alaska for 25 years put on a beautiful memorial for John and I took him "home" for it. They held the memorial in the school gymnasium which was named after him when he retired in May 2005. It was very moving. But I am in Canada now and he is with me and someday we will have our Urns side by side for eternity. I am waiting until I am in heaven with him and back into his warm and loving arms.
For all of you who wonder why he died, I now know the reason. His heart was enlarged greatly and he could have had a sudden heart attack at any time. We did not know this. He developed Diabetes in the last year and heart attacks are common with people with Diabetes. John had never complained of any illness, ever, so even though he was sick with what we thought was a very bad cold for 6 wks and I tried to get him to a doctor he just wouldn't go. John also had Bipolr Disorder for many years and the creativity that came from not taking he medicine made him make the choice to stop taking it. A few months before he died he moved a few miles from home, confused about life from not being on the medicine, but he always was there when I needed him and we were working on him moving home again when he died.
The hardest part besides losing John was that I was on a trip with my girlfriend in Maui when he died at our home at the computer all alone. I was not there to save him, or hold him, or kiss him goodbye and I will never forgive myself for going on that trip he encouraged me to take. But I take some comfort that he came home and had been home for 3 days before he died suddenly. I would have been home in 4 days and I know in my heart that he was waiting to tell me he was moving back home as he was unhappy where he was living and missed me terribly.
The last email he wrote to me in Maui I will hold close to my heart forever. His words " I love you and think of you every minute of every day". I will never erase that from my email.
Thank all of you for enjoying his lovely music and finding out what a gentle kind man he was. The world will never know another soul as beautiful and gentle as my John.
He was only 19 days from his 53rd birthday, and he missed meeting his new grandaughter by 4 weeks. Such a tragedy for all of us who love him.
Keep his music playing and think of him often, he was and is a very very special man.
Thank you kindly for your tribute to him.
Much Love
Jill Beedle
I am sitting here listening to his beautiful voice, listening to the song we wrote together "Cowboy Dream" and all of the other songs that I was so priviledged to hear from their birth. The tears are flowing down my face as I am seeing and hearing the full impact of my total grief and devastation at the loss of my darling husband of 29 years.
Everything his Paltak and other internet friends thought about John's spirit , his kindness, his love of music and life was true. He was and will always be my one true love and although when he got sick the past few years we had some difficulties, I was his one true love also. We used to go round and round about who wanted to die first, and neither one of us wanted to be leftt to grieve for the other one. He promised me that we would just have to die at the same time by some fluke accident ( like flying to Maui every year for 15 years ) so that we could go together. I lost.
My heart is so broken I just don't know how to go on without him, and I anxiously wait for the day that I am able to join him again. The wonderful people who we lived with in Nenana Alaska for 25 years put on a beautiful memorial for John and I took him "home" for it. They held the memorial in the school gymnasium which was named after him when he retired in May 2005. It was very moving. But I am in Canada now and he is with me and someday we will have our Urns side by side for eternity. I am waiting until I am in heaven with him and back into his warm and loving arms.
For all of you who wonder why he died, I now know the reason. His heart was enlarged greatly and he could have had a sudden heart attack at any time. We did not know this. He developed Diabetes in the last year and heart attacks are common with people with Diabetes. John had never complained of any illness, ever, so even though he was sick with what we thought was a very bad cold for 6 wks and I tried to get him to a doctor he just wouldn't go. John also had Bipolr Disorder for many years and the creativity that came from not taking he medicine made him make the choice to stop taking it. A few months before he died he moved a few miles from home, confused about life from not being on the medicine, but he always was there when I needed him and we were working on him moving home again when he died.
The hardest part besides losing John was that I was on a trip with my girlfriend in Maui when he died at our home at the computer all alone. I was not there to save him, or hold him, or kiss him goodbye and I will never forgive myself for going on that trip he encouraged me to take. But I take some comfort that he came home and had been home for 3 days before he died suddenly. I would have been home in 4 days and I know in my heart that he was waiting to tell me he was moving back home as he was unhappy where he was living and missed me terribly.
The last email he wrote to me in Maui I will hold close to my heart forever. His words " I love you and think of you every minute of every day". I will never erase that from my email.
Thank all of you for enjoying his lovely music and finding out what a gentle kind man he was. The world will never know another soul as beautiful and gentle as my John.
He was only 19 days from his 53rd birthday, and he missed meeting his new grandaughter by 4 weeks. Such a tragedy for all of us who love him.
Keep his music playing and think of him often, he was and is a very very special man.
Thank you kindly for your tribute to him.
Much Love
Jill Beedle
